A Rare Case

I wanted to hold him in my arms. But all i could do was feel his tiny feet.

Last week a Pedia Resident Doctor at the hospital where baby Edrei was managed asked my consent to present baby Edrei's rare case in the doctors conference.. I agreed & told her I just want a copy of the case presentation.. Aside from my own documentation of baby Edrei's every day situation, I wanted to have the Docs write up 'coz it would be a complete record of Edrei's daily management, from his bowel movement to medicines given to lab requests & results.. I wanted to have a record of everything about my baby. 

The conference was scheduled last March 23 but was postponed because the father of my baby's pedia surgeon passed away (condolence Doc!) & the Resident Doc assigned to make the presentation was sick & admitted in the hospital (get well soon Doc!)..

I went to the hospital March 24 to get the biopsy result of my placenta & of baby's intestine (it's long been overdue, but maybe the pathologist had some difficulty with the specimens)..As I walk the familiar grounds of the hospital & stepped inside it's building, I still feel heavy in my heart. I had walked this path for almost 2 months.  I saw familiar faces who smiled at me. People who knew what  happened.  Surprisingly, an orderly (who had brought me in a wheelchair from my room to the NICU to visit baby several times when I had just given birth) recognized me & asked if my baby is still admitted.  I answered, not anymore.. I didn't told him that Baby Edrei had passed away.  I would have given everything in the world for me to be going to the hospital everyday & still have baby. But of course God's way is always better than ours. Our thoughts & feelings can never compare to His.

I had a talk with baby Edrei's neonatologist in his clinic. His greeting was "how are you che?".  Doc had always been compassionate. (I guess i have to write another post about my baby's team of doctors & nurses). He said baby Edrei had gone through a lot of things. I asked from him a letter for the medical records to release to me a medical abstract. I didn't stay long 'coz he had patients waiting & med reps.. Maybe I'd have another talk with him about my desires of doing something tangible in memory of baby Edrei (that would still be another post).

In the medical records, I was asked of my purpose for requesting an abstract. Is it be for PCSO? I told the lady I'd like to have it in memory of my baby. I'd like to have anything & everything that has connection with my baby.. His memory is now my treasure.  A treasure that will stay in my heart forever... until we meet again..

We miss you baby!